There are some things in life that are taught, and others which are just an ingrained part of our character – so much is true. But perhaps some of those skills we believe to be inherent are in fact learnt. Perseverance is one such skill, and another is passion. These are two human characteristics which can be picked up with the right activities and commitment, and developing the grit to succeed is an invaluable tool that your child can take with them through life. One caveat before we commence: comparing yourself to others is folly, and simply serves to discourage people (both children and adults). It is never about other people, but what you can do yourself that counts, and this message should be clearly communicated and reinforced through all of these activities. Uncover a purpose in your child’s life Dr. Carol Dweck and Dr. David Yeager conducted research which revealed that students become more motivated once a core purpose has been identified. Their particular study was focused upon internet-based activities by which children were asked to identify how the world could be improved, and how their actions could positively influence this change. The final aspect was to identify the role their education would play in that process, therefore connecting all the dots. This, of course, helps to establish purpose, and develops the persistence the child needs in order to reach those longer-term goals. As a parent, you can help facilitate this by often discussing with your child their goals and purposes in life, and identifying clearly the steps that need to be taken to get there. For younger children, so-called dream boards can help to actually visualize goals for the future, and the child can add to it with images/cuttings or whatever it may be that further identifies those dreams for the future. This is a powerful motivational tool, and has the added benefit of being a lot of fun too. Perform ‘Grit Interviews’ It’s important to understand that optimism and pessimism are actually qualities that children learn from others, and so your influence as a parent here is huge. So why not encourage your child to interview the adults in their life (relatives, neighbors, even teachers) about how they achieved their goals, particularly focusing on any obstacles that they had to overcome to get there. As an additional exercise, you could do the same activity but by role playing as influential figures, such as sporting heroes who may have overcome adversity in the form of injuries, career setbacks or significant defeats, or historical figures who likewise had to battle against the odds. Anyone at all. This adds another dimension, and teaches your child that nothing comes to anyone easily, and seeing this in people your child admires will reinforce this fact. Use nature as your teacher Nature is full of examples of grit and perseverance – from animals that survive and thrive in harsh climates to species that have battled back from the threat of extinction. Here you can use pertinent real-life examples to teach your child valuable lessons about how it is natural to want to survive and succeed. Use literature Just as nature can act as the perfect source of examples, so can stories and poems. Focus on children’s stories whose main protagonist must battle against the odds in order to succeed – The Hugging Tree: A Story About Resilience by Jill Neimark is a great example, but the options are almost limitless. Even Disney movies contain the common theme of overcoming adversity to reach that happy-ever-after ending. Not only are all of these mediums creative and fun, they are educational in the message of perseverance that they deliver. Identify the main challenge If your child is facing a task, and ultimately feels like giving up, you must help them identify the aspect that they are struggling to overcome. Elicit in their own words what that challenge is, and get them to repeat it back so they vocalize what they feel they cannot do. It’s then a case of working together to find the solution, encouraging perseverance in that activity. If your child can identify the solution independently, with just a gentle guiding hand from you, then much the better. Once the challenge has been overcome, elicit again what the problem was and the solution that was used to overcome it, focusing on the fact that your child was able to do it, and get them to vocalize that. Work at your own personal challenges As a family, it’s a great idea to all identify a personal challenge, and to then embark on your individual journeys at the same time, offering feedback, encouragement and support as you undertake that activity. The only important elements here are that the activity is truly challenging for each individual, that you see the activity through, and that you choose it for yourself – your child must select the activity that they want to learn how to do (it can be learning an instrument, playing a new sport, reading a difficult book, following a difficult recipe until you get it right – the options are limitless). Identify their own ‘grit pie’ The ‘grit pie’ activity has been developed as part of the curriculum borne out of Martin Seligman’s The Optimistic Child. Simply, the pie representants an obstacle, and the individual pie slices are representative of the separate elements that constitute that obstacle. Your child, with guidance from you as necessary, identifies those individual slices, assigning them categories which can be defined as ‘temporary’ or ‘permanent’, and then attributing responsibility to those individual elements (whose fault is it?). Of course, the healthy approach is to assign as many portions to the ‘temporary’ category, and the more your child sees that the ‘blame’ is down to them and that the solution is at their own fingertips, then this breeds optimism, responsibility and the perseverance to succeed. All of these are vital characteristics that can be developed in your child. Share your passions Once again, as an important role model, it is beneficial to your child if you can demonstrate to them you own passions, and share them enthusiastically. Whatever that passion may be (it’s not important what), it is significantly more important that you are showing them that it is good to be passionate about something, and to throw yourself into activities that you really enjoy. Developing those passions, whether you share those together or not, is critical for developing dedication to the pursuit of particular activities. Why not encourage your child to share their passion through demonstrations, or get them to make a little video of what their passion means to them and how they go about it. The key is sharing the habit of developing and maintaining passions, which is healthy and productive. Conclusion Grit can in fact be taught and learnt. Help your child to identify their goals, passions, obstacles and solutions with a gentle helping hand, and show them, through the use of these fun activities, that determination, perseverance and optimism can overcome almost any challenge they put their minds to.